And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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