5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize