So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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