all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
