before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
