You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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