i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
