Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is the high leading the old right now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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