Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
