we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
