My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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