I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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