Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

fireball beer pong. youre missing out

(732): View more from New Jersey

how is that even possible?

(908): View more from New Jersey

ove gloves.

(732): View more from New Jersey

be there in ten.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I love boston

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(510): View more from California

I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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(773): View more from Illinois

once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

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(217): View more from Illinois

I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning

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(214): View more from Texas

So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

(512): View more from Texas

I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.

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