no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
