I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
