Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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