Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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