thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
