I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They took my balls.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
