I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
