best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
