he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
