I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
