Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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