I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
