worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish you could order shots online.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
