You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
