we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
