So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
