Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
