Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
