Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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