It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
