You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found puke in my bra..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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