return my video game
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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