that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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