No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
