i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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