My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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