Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you have to choose: penises or morals?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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