Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
