Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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