Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
