I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
