i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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