Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
