brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
