if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
