she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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