Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
