Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Someone signed my nipple.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
