mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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