Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize