I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
