Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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