Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
