you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
