do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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