The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Enjoy the penises
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
