oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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