I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
