ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She bit a glass in half.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
