two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
