Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
