the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
