Don't you send me to vm
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
